A few new items in the Etsy shop. More to come. In the meantime, it has been quiet in Florida, or at least on Stone Island. Palm trees and rain. The weather moves in and out like a thief sometimes. This has been a fascinating summer.
COMING SOON!!!
I’ve been playing with a few new phone apps and will be posting some photos soon. For now, working on some designs and taking photographs of Stone Island and planning the big move. By end of year, I’ll have a wonderful announcement!! Stay tuned.
If you read my blog, you know I’ve been living in Central Florida, but also that this was never to be a permanent place for me. I was given a gift of a type of sabbatical, a gift for which I am utterly and profoundly grateful. The gift givers know this but I will say it again – I am utterly and profoundly grateful. Sabbaticals usually last up to one year. By my calculations, it’s time to begin planning my return to California.
You also know that this year has involved my recovery from open heart surgery – a surprise and shock both to me and the gift givers. This has come with numerous adjustments to lifestyle and the necessity to re-think “it all“. (not so serious, so follow the link….) So, I will be returning to California somewhere around the end of this year, give or take a month or two on either side of the 2013/2014 bridge. “Give or take”. I find this an interesting phrase. Let’s face it, we never know what’s coming up. We only know what’s behind us – and then, we only know our version of that and it might not even be true – and then we think we know where we are at any given moment. It’s all fairly up in the air, isn’t it….
The only point to all of this: Years ago, as I was traveling around the country having a fine time and living in wonderful places (New Orleans, San Francisco, Washington D.C., Los Angeles….I even lived in Bend, OR for a while for goodness sake), I joked and said there were two places I’d never go – ever – no matter what. Ever. One was Minnesota (no reason other than it seemed dreary and dank) and the other was Florida. People raised in New York (like me), tended to retire here and everyone just aged, turning into orange leathery things and wearing socks with shorts. Yes, I said socks with shorts. People do that. Ugh. But here, in this crazy, humid, Republican, gun oriented, lack-of-any-real-good-organic-food-ingredients, redneck mecca, I have found some truly incredible friends, continue to develop my iconography skills :), have once again fallen totally in love with trees, and will continue to take notes and one day write something about why never saying never is really a good idea. I am truly blessed.
Namaste’
That said – I have two new copper bracelets on my Etsy store. You can find a photo of each here, on the Jewelry page of this blog, and you can go to my etsy shop by clicking this ETSY link.
……was so beautiful, that I am reminded of this quote…………….
“In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous” ….Aristotle
Today, the rain is hovering and blowing about……we will see what comes after the storm.
(New jewelry in my Etsy shop – check here or on the Jewelry tab, above….)
Namaste’
Here we are nearly in June of 2013, and there is all this possibility.
Endings and beginnings, all in the same week. It’s been a busy but productive time.
I’ve completed my 12 weeks of cardiac rehab. Wonderful program and wonderful staff. So, what now?
Other than cardiac rehab, tweaking my eating plan along with general reflection and healing, I’ve been playing around with metal again. I’m also writing. JEWELRY! Finally…….It’s so nice to be back in the game of making art.
My Etsy shop has re-opened with a few pieces for now but others will be listed in the next few weeks. Please go to my jewelry page for teasers of what is coming….
In the meantime, Stone Island continues to be a truly wonderful place to recuperate. Enjoy the photos.
Namaste’
“There’s no retirement for an artist, it’s your way of living so there’s no end to it.” Henry Moore
“Unexpected intrusions of beauty. This is what life is.”
Saul Bellow, Herzog
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“Love of beauty is taste. The creation of beauty is art.”
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“The artist is the only lover; he alone has the pure vision of beauty, and love is the vision of the soul when it is permitted to gaze upon immortal beauty”.
Namaste’
© jacqualine-marie baxman 2013
April 8, 2013 marks three months since my heart valve replacement surgery. I am a lucky gal, indeed…
NOTICING MIRACLES
The way we see miracles
Is not to look at all
The eyes through which we see
Are often tainted with ideas
Archaic and dead
Like the leaves of another season
What beckons us is Love
The willingness to be silent
For silence is the color of all Seers
The intention to control
To filter our Light
Is the only sure road to darkness
Notice everything
Love everything
Feel everything
Judge nothing
Let everything go through you
Breathe
Grasp only the heart
The gate we wish to enter
Is without a key
Keys are puzzles for the wingless
We, however, can fly
© jacqualine-marie baxman 2013
Namaste’
Today marks exactly 2 months since my open heart surgery. I would love to celebrate with a few shots of Patron, but not yet. I’ll save that for the 6 month mark.
My last blog post was January 31, 2013 and while I’d intended posting again shortly thereafter, I decided to wait until I had something truly interesting to say. There’s just so much to say about the details of surgery, home health care, and moving from the recliner to the front door and then outside and being able to breathe while doing it all. Once the initial event is over, focus goes to real healing and concentrating on one’s life – and the details of life are different for all of us.
I’ve been thinking about this blog post for nearly 3 days. It occurs to me that, really, I don’t have much to say – not at this time. There are thoughts and epiphanies dancing around in my head as if Baryshnikov was on his way to join in. Dancing, dancing, dancing – privileged and beautiful like the light that comes through the window at 3 o’oclock in the afternoon. It is a dance to re-learn presence, awareness, and certainly gratitude. So, nothing profound written here today.
I’ve decided, instead, to show you more of what I’ve been looking at while going through this transition, this learning to balance what I want, what is expected of me (there are people who count on us, who need to know we are there), and which dream of my many is the most fascinating to me (why not all, I think). The photos above are what I see when I walk, when I am quiet and introspective yet open to what is around me. I have a new iPhone. We are learning more about each other, how we work, how we create, what we find necessary to record. I record things, always, one way or another. It is who I am. I am in love with my animal neighbors and with anything that grows. Quiet, beautiful, and without criticism, everything seems to live together in the moment, in harmony, perhaps the way humans all should if we were less calculating.
I will add that I have begun cardiac rehab. Having completed my second full week, I am enjoying the idea of being monitored – a peculiar thing, indeed – and of being watched and cared for in a new and different way. I will “graduate” from cardiac rehab in 11 weeks. In the meantime, between my last post and this one, I have simply worked on healing. Tales will follow – maybe, and insights…if they ever stop their crazy dancing. I’m not sure I want them to.
“Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change.” Stephen Covey
Namaste’
With the exception of a few moments of incredible clarity, the past few weeks have been a blur. We’ve been gearing up for surgery and are moving forward. Surgery has come and gone and we are alive. We’re just not quite ready to come out and fully play. Soon, however, very soon. I’m sure we are healing. The cat, maybe not so much. Apparently, she’s experienced trauma. They are very senstive beings.
I’m going to write about my experience because it makes sense to pass on info to anyone who might need it. Education is a good thing. Over the years, as I’ve read blogs on illness and healing, I’ve noticed that by and large people tend to want to paint an extremely bright picture of their illness/situation and leave out the grit that many of us experience. Everyone wants to be a hero. There are blogs that are completely opposite in voice and much too graphic and negative for anyone’s wellbeing. I will try to strike a balance. How will you know if your experience is reasonable if everyone lies to you? Given health care in America, and given the American diet – which is so obviously killing us all – I’m going to express some opinions on a few things. They are my opinions based on personal experience and being a witness of sorts in the care of loved ones and friends. If you follow the blog, you’ll see the story of my experience unfold and it will bring along with it a few other stories that are intertwined. If you are someone struggling with an illness, I hope to have a word or two that will make you smile (really, how many times can you accidentally dip the bottom edge of your hospital gown in the “pee” cup…) and give you some hope. Once I’m out walking again, I’ll be taking more photographs of the local area and resume being awed by nature. Currently, I am being awed by simply being alive and not looking quite as shabby as I’d expected. On the other hand, there are things I didn’t know, and people I am so blessed to have met, and angels everywhere.
What is/was my illness/medical “thing”?
Bicuspid Aortic Valve, a congenital heart defect. I’ve known about this since before I knew what boys were, that’s how long it’s been (long, long time…). It’s always loomed overhead that the day of valve replacement would come. I wanted medical technology to catch up (and it has). I wanted to never have to go through this. I’m not someone who was a candidate for newer, less invasive methods of replacement. Many factors are considered, your age, the stenotic “value” (Stenosis = narrowing. My valve was thick and dangerously closed) of the valve, your overall health, etc. There are many considerations. Do you want, and should you have, a mechanical valve or a Porcine valve (pig) or Bovine valve (cow)? Who makes that decision? Risks? Options? I’ve been over the details for several years. I am in my sixties. My genetic make up is awful, more like a cesspool than a gene pool. I’ve kept a fairly healthy diet in excess of twenty years. While not athletic (the poorly functioning valve always played a heavy role in my ability to exercise), I’d become accustomed to power walking 3 miles each day. For me, 3 miles was someone else’s marathon. One day, I just couldn’t do it anymore, and this new journey began…
Also, I am a staunch believer in energy work and holistics. I’ve had people tell me to do more Reiki (I am a Reiki Master), or other bodywork, or change my diet, and on and on. My beliefs and everyone else’s have come to battle on this one. That is why I’m writing about it. Life is often a crapshoot. Maybe what matters is what you do with the crapshoot instead of placing blame. I hope you will come along for the ride. It won’t be that long and you might learn something.
By the way, yes. I had open heart surgery. I did not have bypass. I did not have coronary blockage. Yay!
Take better care of yourself than you think you should. Trust me on this one.
More to come…
Namaste’
Breathing
I’ve Moved Into The Woods
A Voice Chants: Breathe……Breathe……Breathe
Soft Like a First Kiss
Brief Like The Last One
I Think It Is The Wind But It Is Me
My Moments My Dreams
Holograms Of My Choosing
Naked and Willing
The Earth At My Feet
Amber Rubbed On My Wrists
I Am A Healed Healer
I Have Been Here and I Will Come Again
© jacqualine-marie baxman 2012
Namaste’
jacqualine-marie 
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